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Thursday, May 21, 2020

Victims of Domestic Abuse: Please Know that You Are NOT Really Alone

Are you living in a household with domestic abuse and looking for help to get out?

Domestic abuse victims are currently confined to households with their abusers, and violence is on the rise.

Victims feel sad and alone, and are probably afraid because they think they’ll never have a way out. But that’s not true. There really are people out there who are trying to help. 

Advocate for Domestic Abuse Victims

Recently, I received an email, from a young lady who is an advocate for the victims of domestic abuse. Her email was in response to my article

6 Tips to Help Control Your Emotions and Safeguard Your Relationships

Mary Kate Mackin is interested in helping protect women from domestic violence, most especially during the crisis the world currently finds itself in.

In the email, she stated: “I felt compelled to share a resource that is designed to help women who are seeking to leave an abusive relationship find the financial assistance they might need to do so.”

According to Ms. Mackin, there's a resource guide that “…offers advice on the steps to take towards financial and physical freedom while outlining helpful resources for continued support.” 

I visited the link she provided and found the extremely helpful information about “Navigating financial help when leaving an abusive relationship.”

I was already aware of recent reports, like in Psychology Today, and how they indicate an increase in incidents of domestic abuse. 

This is even as law enforcement is concerned about the countless other incidents that are not being reported at all. 

Domestic Violence During Pandemic

Once upon a time, victims may have found solace in being able to have time away from an abuser during the course of the day. 

But that was before the pandemic. Unfortunately, now, there’s no school, job, or anywhere else for abusers or victims to go and spend those long hours.

Needless to say, it’s hard for victims to report and expose their abuser, when they find themselves stuck in that person’s presence indefinitely.

The added stress of negative job and/or financial situations during COVID-19 make these already vulnerable households a recipe for disaster. 

Sadly, the very same stay-at-home orders that remain in place, as a means of protecting people, are putting a great deal of women and children in grave jeopardy.

Programs like To Her Credit have designed a way to give tailor-made financial solutions to women in these abusive households. 
Many readers will probably read this information, and shake their heads, thinking: "What a shame!" 

But then they'll move on to the next interesting story or shiny object.  I implore you to do more after reading this post.

Pain of Domestic Abuse

As you might imagine, victims of domestic abuse (whether a child, a woman, or even a man), end up suffering in more than one way. 

There's the physical pain you suffer from the blows and injury inflicted, and the emotional pain and sense of betrayal you feel against the abuser. 

No, I’m not a doctor, a psychiatrist, or someone in the medical field, but I don’t have to be, in order to describe what I’m talking about. 

I know from first-hand experience, there is nothing so terrifying, as being at the mercy of someone’s explosive emotional state. 

There’s nothing like the unbearable stress of knowing that they could erupt at any minute, and the outcome will almost certainly be a physical altercation.

I recall all too vividly, the ever constant, pounding of my heart, waiting and anticipating when the dreaded shoe would drop, and sometimes, not just figuratively. 

In my case, it wasn't unusual to find yourself on the receiving end of an actual shoe being thrown at your face, or being hit upside the head with whatever object was handy.

This was mostly the situation during my domestic abuse as a child. The spousal abuse that came years later was more likely to end with me on the receiving side of a fist. 

In each and every instance of the past abuses that I recall, it’s amazing how much the emotional fear often surpassed the pain and injury of the physical abuse. 

I’m one of the lucky ones, so my physical injuries from the past are gone, but the emotional pain from so long ago continues to live with me to this day (at age 62).

Help Domestic Abuse Victims 

What can you do if you or someone you know, is having to deal with this often hidden issue? The simple answer is, do whatever you can, whenever you can.

For all the reasons mentioned in this article, and many others that weren’t, these women may not always realize that help is available.

Help for suspected domestic abuse victims can be in the form of making wellness checks, via video devices when possible. 

If you can’t actually visit or see them with your eyes, you can text, or find a way to stay connected and keep them on your radar.

·      You can also find ways to alert them to resources, like the RUSafe App.

·      Make a point to read and learn about Detecting Signs of Domestic Violence.

·      Even just a phone call can make a big difference.

Without the help and support of people who care, domestic abuse victims are merely sitting ducks, just waiting for a ticking time bomb to go off.

They deserve more, and we as a society, should help to see that they get it. You can learn more on this timely subject when you visit the following website.