Life during the COVID-19 crisis is anything but ordinary, and it helps to hear about how others are coping. NOTMEDIUM.net plans to keep you informed, entertained, and engaged with lots of cool content and interesting stories, but we'd also like to hear some of yours. GUEST BLOGGERS are invited to write for us.

Thursday, May 21, 2020

Victims of Domestic Abuse: Please Know that You Are NOT Really Alone


Are you living in a household with domestic abuse and looking for help to get out?





Domestic abuse victims are currently confined to households with their abusers, and violence is on the rise.

Victims feel sad and alone, and are probably afraid because they think they’ll never have a way out. But that’s not true. There really are people out there who are trying to help. 


Advocate for Domestic Abuse Victims

Recently, I received an email, from a young lady who is an advocate for the victims of domestic abuse. Her email was in response to my article

6 Tips to Help Control Your Emotions and Safeguard Your Relationships

Mary Kate Mackin is interested in helping protect women from domestic violence, most especially during the crisis the world currently finds itself in.

In the email, she stated: “I felt compelled to share a resource that is designed to help women who are seeking to leave an abusive relationship find the financial assistance they might need to do so.”

According to Ms. Mackin, there's a resource guide that “…offers advice on the steps to take towards financial and physical freedom while outlining helpful resources for continued support.” 

I visited the link she provided and found the extremely helpful information about “Navigating financial help when leaving an abusive relationship.”

I was already aware of recent reports, like in Psychology Today, and how they indicate an increase in incidents of domestic abuse. 

This is even as law enforcement is concerned about the countless other incidents that are not being reported at all. 


Domestic Violence During Pandemic

Once upon a time, victims may have found solace in being able to have time away from an abuser during the course of the day. 

But that was before the pandemic. Unfortunately, now, there’s no school, job, or anywhere else for abusers or victims to go and spend those long hours.

Needless to say, it’s hard for victims to report and expose their abuser, when they find themselves stuck in that person’s presence indefinitely.

The added stress of negative job and/or financial situations during COVID-19 make these already vulnerable households a recipe for disaster. 

Sadly, the very same stay-at-home orders that remain in place, as a means of protecting people, are putting a great deal of women and children in grave jeopardy.

Programs like To Her Credit have designed a way to give tailor-made financial solutions to women in these abusive households. 
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Many readers will probably read this information, and shake their heads, thinking: "What a shame!" 

But then they'll move on to the next interesting story or shiny object.  I implore you to do more after reading this post.

Pain of Domestic Abuse

As you might imagine, victims of domestic abuse (whether a child, a woman, or even a man), end up suffering in more than one way. 

There's the physical pain you suffer from the blows and injury inflicted, and the emotional pain and sense of betrayal you feel against the abuser. 

No, I’m not a doctor, a psychiatrist, or someone in the medical field, but I don’t have to be, in order to describe what I’m talking about. 

I know from first-hand experience, there is nothing so terrifying, as being at the mercy of someone’s explosive emotional state. 

There’s nothing like the unbearable stress of knowing that they could erupt at any minute, and the outcome will almost certainly be a physical altercation.

I recall all too vividly, the ever constant, pounding of my heart, waiting and anticipating when the dreaded shoe would drop, and sometimes, not just figuratively. 

In my case, it wasn't unusual to find yourself on the receiving end of an actual shoe being thrown at your face, or being hit upside the head with whatever object was handy.

This was mostly the situation during my domestic abuse as a child. The spousal abuse that came years later was more likely to end with me on the receiving side of a fist. 

In each and every instance of the past abuses that I recall, it’s amazing how much the emotional fear often surpassed the pain and injury of the physical abuse. 

I’m one of the lucky ones, so my physical injuries from the past are gone, but the emotional pain from so long ago continues to live with me to this day (at age 62).

Help Domestic Abuse Victims 

What can you do if you or someone you know, is having to deal with this often hidden issue? The simple answer is, do whatever you can, whenever you can.

For all the reasons mentioned in this article, and many others that weren’t, these women may not always realize that help is available.

Help for suspected domestic abuse victims can be in the form of making wellness checks, via video devices when possible. 

If you can’t actually visit or see them with your eyes, you can text, or find a way to stay connected and keep them on your radar.


·      You can also find ways to alert them to resources, like the RUSafe App.
 

·      Make a point to read and learn about Detecting Signs of Domestic Violence.


·      Even just a phone call can make a big difference.




Without the help and support of people who care, domestic abuse victims are merely sitting ducks, just waiting for a ticking time bomb to go off.

They deserve more, and we as a society, should help to see that they get it. You can learn more on this timely subject when you visit the following website.







Thursday, May 14, 2020

Californians Stay Home Under Governor’s Extended Order


How do some residents in sunny California deal with staying at home?

 

Californians may stay home under Governor Gavin Newsome’s extended stay-at-home order, but obviously, not everyone is happy about it. 

In fact, probably no one is truly happy about it, but at least the vast majority of us have sense enough not to protest it. 

Common sense is evidence enough that the order is for all of our safety, in spite of how much it may suck.

 

Californians Stay Home

Democrats or Republicans, Independents, or otherwise, the vast number of Californians continue to follow the stay-home rules and guidelines.

The majority of people seem to rely on their own eyes and ears, when it comes to recognizing what’s right in front of you. 

All we see and hear every day is more sickness and more death, all resulting from this indiscriminate virus. Why the heck should anyone be playing politics, when the virus is an enemy to everyone?  

If hot-headed, partisan critics would put politics aside, it wouldn’t even  take a Dr. Fauci or a Dr. Bright to recognize what's painfully obvious. 

Governor Newsome may be scoffed at, but at least his intentions are to save lives. On the other hand, the slow-acting administration in Washington is indirectly responsible for thousands of deaths, and at this rate, probably thousands more.

 

Stay at Home Compliance

With all our sunny days, awesome beaches, and gazillion things for us to enjoy, why on earth would we want to stay at home?

I totally get it, but so what? Complying with stay at home guidelines is exactly what we have to do. 

When it’s time to put on your big boy and girl underwear and be the adults in the room, you do what you have to do. 

Any way you look at it, sacrificing our health to save the economy is pointless. If most of the world is dead or dying, who are we saving it for?

Some readers probably disagree with my viewpoint, and that’s okay, just like some Californians may disagree with the Governor’s order, and that’s okay too. 

We love expressing our views. That’s just who we are. Californians don’t always agree with one another. But as long as we continue to stay-at-home, and help keep each other safe, we can agree to disagree all day long.

 

Californians are Creative

It’s no secret that there’s a lot of creative people in California, and I don’t just mean in the entertainment industry. 

I live in Los Angeles, where you have a wide array of artists, musicians, writers, and scores of other creative-types. 

That’s not even counting Hollywood and the known celebrities and artists that live in and around Burbank, Studio City, and other Hollywood areas.

The point is, Californians know how to be creative and find productive ways to make use of their time. This can also be a sort of release valve.

It helps redirect your anxiety, when you can throw yourself into something constructive. It doesn’t do anyone any good to be impatient about the situation.

The seriousness of this crisis demands that we listen to reason, no matter how impatient or antsy that we get.

If you find yourself at your wits end, and you need something to do, maybe it’s time to tap into your own creative side.


Stay Home and Create

Are you one of the few Californians complaining right now, because the stay-at-home order has been extended? 

More than likely, part of your annoyance is driven by the maddening effects of staying in the house for so long. 

But I know you don’t want a park get together for a picnic to lead to a cemetery get together for a funeral.  

If boredom and impatience is a major concern, get proactive about it. Think of a long-term project you can do or create, so that every single day you have something to wake up for and look forward to doing. 




The bottom line is, no matter what state we live in, and what our daily lives used to look like; that picture has changed forever. 

Coming to grips with that cold, hard fact can actually help you. It was definitely helpful for me. 

I believe that sensible individuals (not just in California, but everywhere) understand the importance of listening to what the experts say. 

To balk, complain, disagree, and outright rebel is simply madness, and will even cost some people their very lives.

So instead of spending time worrying, stressing, or fussing about what you can’t change, decide to do something productive instead. 


By investing time into something worthwhile, you may actually come to appreciate this time you have to stay at home.