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Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Thursday, May 21, 2020

Victims of Domestic Abuse: Please Know that You Are NOT Really Alone


Are you living in a household with domestic abuse and looking for help to get out?





Domestic abuse victims are currently confined to households with their abusers, and violence is on the rise.

Victims feel sad and alone, and are probably afraid because they think they’ll never have a way out. But that’s not true. There really are people out there who are trying to help. 


Advocate for Domestic Abuse Victims

Recently, I received an email, from a young lady who is an advocate for the victims of domestic abuse. Her email was in response to my article

6 Tips to Help Control Your Emotions and Safeguard Your Relationships

Mary Kate Mackin is interested in helping protect women from domestic violence, most especially during the crisis the world currently finds itself in.

In the email, she stated: “I felt compelled to share a resource that is designed to help women who are seeking to leave an abusive relationship find the financial assistance they might need to do so.”

According to Ms. Mackin, there's a resource guide that “…offers advice on the steps to take towards financial and physical freedom while outlining helpful resources for continued support.” 

I visited the link she provided and found the extremely helpful information about “Navigating financial help when leaving an abusive relationship.”

I was already aware of recent reports, like in Psychology Today, and how they indicate an increase in incidents of domestic abuse. 

This is even as law enforcement is concerned about the countless other incidents that are not being reported at all. 


Domestic Violence During Pandemic

Once upon a time, victims may have found solace in being able to have time away from an abuser during the course of the day. 

But that was before the pandemic. Unfortunately, now, there’s no school, job, or anywhere else for abusers or victims to go and spend those long hours.

Needless to say, it’s hard for victims to report and expose their abuser, when they find themselves stuck in that person’s presence indefinitely.

The added stress of negative job and/or financial situations during COVID-19 make these already vulnerable households a recipe for disaster. 

Sadly, the very same stay-at-home orders that remain in place, as a means of protecting people, are putting a great deal of women and children in grave jeopardy.

Programs like To Her Credit have designed a way to give tailor-made financial solutions to women in these abusive households. 
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Many readers will probably read this information, and shake their heads, thinking: "What a shame!" 

But then they'll move on to the next interesting story or shiny object.  I implore you to do more after reading this post.

Pain of Domestic Abuse

As you might imagine, victims of domestic abuse (whether a child, a woman, or even a man), end up suffering in more than one way. 

There's the physical pain you suffer from the blows and injury inflicted, and the emotional pain and sense of betrayal you feel against the abuser. 

No, I’m not a doctor, a psychiatrist, or someone in the medical field, but I don’t have to be, in order to describe what I’m talking about. 

I know from first-hand experience, there is nothing so terrifying, as being at the mercy of someone’s explosive emotional state. 

There’s nothing like the unbearable stress of knowing that they could erupt at any minute, and the outcome will almost certainly be a physical altercation.

I recall all too vividly, the ever constant, pounding of my heart, waiting and anticipating when the dreaded shoe would drop, and sometimes, not just figuratively. 

In my case, it wasn't unusual to find yourself on the receiving end of an actual shoe being thrown at your face, or being hit upside the head with whatever object was handy.

This was mostly the situation during my domestic abuse as a child. The spousal abuse that came years later was more likely to end with me on the receiving side of a fist. 

In each and every instance of the past abuses that I recall, it’s amazing how much the emotional fear often surpassed the pain and injury of the physical abuse. 

I’m one of the lucky ones, so my physical injuries from the past are gone, but the emotional pain from so long ago continues to live with me to this day (at age 62).

Help Domestic Abuse Victims 

What can you do if you or someone you know, is having to deal with this often hidden issue? The simple answer is, do whatever you can, whenever you can.

For all the reasons mentioned in this article, and many others that weren’t, these women may not always realize that help is available.

Help for suspected domestic abuse victims can be in the form of making wellness checks, via video devices when possible. 

If you can’t actually visit or see them with your eyes, you can text, or find a way to stay connected and keep them on your radar.


·      You can also find ways to alert them to resources, like the RUSafe App.
 

·      Make a point to read and learn about Detecting Signs of Domestic Violence.


·      Even just a phone call can make a big difference.




Without the help and support of people who care, domestic abuse victims are merely sitting ducks, just waiting for a ticking time bomb to go off.

They deserve more, and we as a society, should help to see that they get it. You can learn more on this timely subject when you visit the following website.






 

DEAR READERS:

Since the writing of this particular story, a lot has happened and I invite you to visit my Justiss Goode pen name and Medium profile and read some of my recent personal essays and miscellaneous life lessons that I know you will enjoy and benefit from.

 

Monday, May 4, 2020

Reconnecting with My Creative Family During the Corona Virus Lockdown


Do you know what your family members are up to during the new normal?

 



Reconnecting with family members during the COVID-19 lock down has been a great experience for me. I wrote about it in the post:


How Many Families Will COVID-19 Bring Together?


I’ve been trying to stay productive since I live in California, and we’re on a stay-at-home order. Our Governor (Gavin Newsom) is not messing around with this virus. KUDOS to him!

Since I’ve been reconnecting with different family members, I’ve been reminded just how creative and talented that so many of them are. 

I’m discovering what things some of my out-of-state family is doing to keep themselves busy. It’s been so much fun, reconnecting and seeing what they’re up to, I decided to share it with all of you.


Creative Family Member
My sister Charletta lives in Chicago, and she’s off work from her job until the end of May. So while her eldest daughter in North Carolina is pondering what to plant in her garden, Charletta has been pulling out boxes of all her old poetry.  

Letta is an older diva like me, so trust me when I say it’s been decades since she broke out the treasure trove of poetry that she wrote in another lifetime.
While I’ve always been the writer in the family, Charletta’s creativity has always been singing (although she was also quite the dancer in her day).

She wasn’t interested in making a video, so the most I could do was convince her to recite the poems in an audio file, then I added some images, like a slide show. 


Creativity at Work
We put a little creativity to work and had fun laughing over the project we put together. The poems cover the period both before, and during the time her and my brother-in-law were raising their four daughters, who now have families of their own.

Some of the poems she read me, I’d already heard her recite, way back when, and some I had never heard. 

I have to admit, she showed a lot of maturity in her writing, even at an early age, especially with the more-weighty subjects. Like most young teen girls or women coming into adulthood, she wrote a lot of poetry about love and relationships. 

Introducing Letta B.

One of my favorites was the one you can read if you follow the link below. It’s called “A House a Little Out of Hand” and it’s funny and very relatable.
Though it was written long before the covid virus, it undoubtedly applies to a lot of households today.  In fact, every parent (especially moms) can relate to the house in this poem.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeXAezohXP4

I hope you enjoy it, and if you do, don’t hesitate to let the author know, by clicking the LIKE button on Youtube, and share it with someone else (preferably another mother).


You can take advantage of the time we find ourselves living in, whether you’re already close to your family members, or you have trouble maintaining a connection with them, for one reason or another.  

COVID-19 has proven to us, that there is no such thing as “going back to normal” so start thinking about what you want your new normal to look like, and who you want to have in it. 

Is there anyone missing from it? Then check in and connect with them. You may not be able to connect with everyone you want, but at least you’ll know you tried.  



DEAR READERS:

Since the writing of this particular story, a lot has happened and I invite you to visit my Justiss Goode pen name and Medium profile and read some of my recent personal essays and miscellaneous life lessons that I know you will enjoy and benefit from.